Just A Few Thoughts on RP Etiquette and Basics

[Sable Thanasis-Pontin]

I put this here, since I didn't know where to place it. Also, I'm writing this to vent, and not naming names or pointing fingers. This happens in ALL dreams, and I've seen it happen before and when it gets out of hand, bad things happen with groups. I don't want that here. So, I'm writing about it now.


One of the fundamentals of RP is not letting your feelings out-of-character tarnish any feelings while in-character. If you are friends with someone out-of-character, but either don't know someone in-character or are their enemy, don't let the hostile feelings verge out and ruin the friendship. Remember that it's just RP, and that you're doing this as fun, in a game. If you are friends, or neutral, in-character and are angry with a person out-of-character, for any reason, that shouldn't reflect. Neither should any feelings be expressed in front of other members. This causes people to misunderstand what's going on, and causes tempers to flare and people to 'take sides' when that measure does NOT need to be taken.

If there are any problems, then the two people who are having these feelings should sit with a member of staff who is neutral to the situation, or a non-biased third party, and discuss the reason behind the situation, rather than arguing or jumping at each other. We are all old enough to voice our feelings and opinions, and to reach a logical solution that doesn't result to the loss of either members to an otherwise good group, or to the splitting of a group.

If, even with finding a solution, anyone is still angry, or one is feeling that they are letting their out-of-character feelings becoming overwhelmed by in-character feelings, or vice-versa, or if anything is causing anyone to lash out unneccessarily at their fellow RPers and group members, then put an 'absence' notice in the forum, and step away from RP for a day or two. Don't log in. Let the feelings die down, or find something that calms you down, and then return when you are feeling better.

I'm only stating this because it's happened before, in places I've been, and in various other RP places and groups. It can be avoided and handled properly, as long as we remember that we're all rational, mature human beings, guys. It's just a game. We can ALL be friends, and be nice to one another.

[Sable Thanasis-Pontin]

Another thought, and this is one that even I am guilty of, sadly.

Please be mindful of the RP commitments you make.

I bring this up because everyone eventually finds a friend in RP or multiple friends in RP that they like, and they will stick with them in basic RP situations. That's good. For the most part. Really it is. Even better if it's a player whose characters you have particularly good chemistry with.

However, things can become strained when two things occur.

The first is when you meet ANOTHER person whom you have surprisingly good RP with and whom you have fun with both out of character and in character. You enjoy the RP and the out of character discussion with them. That's not bad at all. It becomes bad however when you begin to neglect RP with your older RP friends and group in favor of the new one. Say that your old RP friends want to RP and you say that you don't want to or aren't in the mood, until your new RP friend shows up and you suddenly get in the mood for inspiration. Don't do that. That's being unfair to your old friends. If you had an RP idea but it was for the newer friend, be honest and state it. Don't say you don't want to, only to blow off your old friend. Also, don't start an RP with the old friend, and abandon it to RP with your new friends. Again, that is rude and unfair to the old friends and group. This usually results in the loss of a good friend or group of friends you've had for a long time, rather than being able to have multiple friends whom you enjoy talk and RP with. Invite the old RP friends to the RP as well. Don't push them out. They've been RPing with you a while. They care. There's history here. Don't let that go or think it'll be fine while you're making new friends. There's room for everyone.

Also, don't favor your old friends and ignore anyone new who wants to RP with you. This is the other end, where you stick to only the people you know and don't branch out to folks that you don't. If the new person doesn't get to use their character (or for some multiple characters) then the characters are wasted, and a good member of the group decides they aren't wanted and leave, feeling hurt and abandoned. This isn't good either. Invite the new person to the RP, with a character that fits the situation, or make room in the RP for the new person's character. Then they get to know more people, are made a part of the group, and both new and old friendships are further strengthened.

Point is, don't ignore the new folks to preserve your old friendships. And if you've found a new friend, don't ignore the folks who've been by your side for ages. Bring in BOTH! It promotes unity within a dream and it keeps everyone happy and involved. I've seen lots of dreams lose members because of this issue. Don't let it happen here.

[Sable Thanasis-Pontin]

Two more thoughts.

First Thought: RP versus Real Life priorities.
We all love RP. It's fun and lets us enjoy a life we otherwise would never be doing. But when something in the real world comes up- whether it's an emergency and cannot be avoided, or a more enjoyable part of life, such as friends and family asking for social interaction, or one has to work and earn money for necessary things like food and internet- then RP needs to take a back-seat while we go to the real world. Is it fun? Not always. Is it necessary? Yes. Because as much as many would like to be able to stay online and play all the time, sometimes we DO NEED interactions with the people around us. We have family or friends who we care about and need to spend quality time with. Pets we clean, feed, or walk. Sometimes people have homework or work-work that needs to be taken care of. When that happens, yes, an RP needs to either be cut short, held on hold, or left for a little while while we make sure our real-life bonds are reinforced. If you know your RP friends offline, wonderful! Maybe take time to meet up and have some fun together to strengthen the bonds there too. But don't stay glued to your computers all the time. Even with Skype and other inventions like webcams and phones, no man or woman can have a social life with just a box and a keyboard.

Second Thought: Post Speed And AFK Notices.
We've all had it happen. We're RPing and surfing the web or watching TV and while you're waiting on another person's post you look away from the main window and an article catches your eye, or while you're browsing you see that a favorite video channel has updated, or you see an interesting segment on the TV and proceed to watch. Eventually your attention drifts and drifts and before you know it, it's been 30 minutes and people are waiting on YOU to post and are getting very antsy about it.

Or, you're Rping and Mom suddenly yells, 'Come put these clothes up NOW!' or Dad says, 'I need help with the ladder! Come here NOW!' The phone rings, the door bell goes off, the pizza arrives, etc. You've gotta get up and tend to it. You figure, 'It won't take a minute.' Then you come back 40 minutes late and people have gone AFK or completely skipped you for several turns, or even left messages saying they're heading out for the night for one reason or another and the RP's been paused.

This happens often. And when we're not careful we either get people upset about it or we get irked ourselves when it happens to us. Trust me. I know. I've been both a perpetrator of it, and I've been on the other end. The point is this: Please, if you HAVE to go or if you're watching something, or working on a project, or you're reading something, or even need to use the rest room. If you've got something going on that's going to be taking some of your attention away, warn the other RPers. Say, 'I'm gonna be a bit slow. Please bear with me', or 'I need to step out a bit. When I get this taken care of, I'll jump back in'. And then the RP can proceed at a regular pace.

If you're not distracted or having to deal with something offscreen, though, please keep your posts quick. Try prepping a post, putting in a basic action. Pay attention to what people are saying and how they're reacting. Keep something like Notebook open to the side and be typing up. If someone posting before you adds in something new to react to, just amend your prepped post accordingly, then cut/paste it to the text box in screen, and viola, you're keeping the pace going. Or stick to semi-short posts. I'm not saying you should do 1 or 2 liners, but if you can't write up a prep post, try to write up a semi-paragraph post that sums up what you're reacting to or saying and then post it upon your turn. It'll keep the pace going and not interrupt others. Even the paragraph and multi-paragraph typers.